I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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