It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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