i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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