I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
