All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Even my vagina gasped.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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