Buhtt sex?
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I fill condoms, not promises.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize