I cockslap morals
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Farmville is her only friend.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
33 Memes You’ll Find Uncomfortably Relatable If You’ve Ever Been Through A Messy Breakup
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one