Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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