Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.