We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize