READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
