Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
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