The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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