hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
