You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize