you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Randomize