Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
