we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
