she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Even my vagina gasped.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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