he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
i need some magic done to my vagina
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
