Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
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