Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
