I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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