literally had 100 drinks last night.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
