Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
