but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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