and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize