The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
