So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
