I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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