after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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