I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
