ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Randomize
