I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
