You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
