another moral hangover. fuck.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
