never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
