so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
