I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
