maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Randomize
