you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
