Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
We left the knife in your bed.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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