she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
