I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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