RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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