Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
