Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
