At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
