I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
