Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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