You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize