maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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