Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I will be naked everywhere
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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