the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
