White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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