and you said cock pushups were impossible
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I need to sanitize my soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
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