So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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