this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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