Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
