Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize