I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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