1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
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