I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize